Ignorance is bliss

Hello to my fellow friends or readers who also lifts!

I suppose this topic is directed towards girls more than guys.

I started lifting weights in 2011? It was simple habits that I decided to cultivate because I had deep set insecurity issues regarding my physical appearance. I refused to succumb to the 'Freshman 15' whereby people gain tremendous weight when they go overseas. I was just too much of a scaredy cat to go through a tenacious change physically wise.

So, when I first started off lifting weights, I couldn't manage to lift very heavy weights. Naturally, I have always been quite weak so I started off doing simple exercises such as running for 15 minutes, cycling for another 15 minutes and finished the cardio session with a little bit of weight training. I could barely lift more than 5kg dumbbells at that time.

2015, Im lifting 3x times the weight than before. I have no gained yet nor lost any weight but I shed fats off my waist and seem to be growing in terms of muscles gains (?) Lol.

I still constantly struggle with my eating habits whereby people around me can be very discouraging about my eating habits. If there's one thing I've learned when you want to make a change, it's that don't listen to people who bring you down.

I have had people giving me snide and rude remarks:
"Do you even eat?" "Are you eating grass?" "I don't know how you can live this way" "It must be a sad life that you're leading" "Girls shouldn't lift" "You are so unfeminine" "How are you going to find a boyfriend this way?" "Noone will ever like that a girl is stronger than a guy"

There have been more remarks I've received but these are the more prominent ones that linger around in my mind. Im not saying that I have the best body nor do I have a super muscular body.

It hurts when people who you think that will always support you, put you down but meh, if they were not there for you during your struggles, why should you be there during my happier days?

2014 Reflections

I think that despite us not blogging much at all, It is nice to have a platform whereby we pen down our thoughts and yearly reflections.

So 2014.. How was 2014 for everyone? For the single people out there, did you find love? For those in a relationship, did you manage to move another step further or things have gone astray?

Whatever it is, I know most of us are glad that this year is finally coming to an end.

Im not saying that my life has been tragic during the whole year but there has been numerous tragedies happening all over the world; if anything, the tragedies have only increased, rebellions/civil wars/ political conflicts... the list is endless.

Well, I shall not fret upon world matters because this is my own yearly reflection.

Let's see..

January started off quite dull. Nothing much happened. I was in Brunei at that time waiting for my semester to begin in March. Oh! I went to my second rave in March! I attended the Future Music Festival Asia, which lasted for 2 days only, as the 3rd day got cancelled. It was fun, I guess.

To be honest, I really don't remember much about what happened this year.

Significant events only involved a lot of heartbreak and newfound love. 

Oh! And I worked for the first time ever as a 'Freelance Model'. ROFLMAO

If you are in Malaysia, you will come to understand the term 'freelance model' very well. It involves a wide job scope which could involve giving out flyers, posing beside products and so forth. For my job scope, I was just supposed to give out flyers and convince people to take picture at our booth and upload it on the facebook page. Lol. 

Super sakai right?

Oh! And I also joined my first ever 'Ms. Physique' show! I got 4th place. Twas a super interesting experience. I met a lot of interesting people during the expo and I think my life just spiralled out of control since then (not in a bad way of course)

My best friend moved in with me and my sister moved to Johor with her little family.

If any of you know me well, I've never really lived alone before except the time in Melbourne but it was really truly the first time I was alone. I was glad that my best friend decided to move in with me because what would we do without each other.

In July, my lovely bunch of giggly friends came to visit me in Brunei (minus Shakespeare who ditched). 

Im really glad they came because I didn't have to spend my birthday alone. Some of you may not know but the person I was seeing wasn't around and my friends were even more awesome company than I could ever ask for.

Fast forward to August till December, a lot of significant events happened then. The most significant of it all is that I decided to give up on something I held on for so long. I never imagined myself to give it up because I am a 'forever-kind-of-girl'. However, the impending pressure coming from my parents and also, with me finishing my studies soon made come to several conclusions. The first is that I reflected upon how much both of us have changed and I realised how much I have changed and moved on to new ventures but somehow, the person was still lagging behind me. I realised that a lot of times in that particular liaison, I was tolerating. Tolerating behaviour that I despise. What was the point of the whole thing if all I ever did was tolerating? I figured and yes selfishly, made the decision to break off the correspondence. It didn't end quite as smooth as I expected but it was okay.

Okay, i don't really want to be such a downer on this yearly reflection but it was one of the most impactful event that has happened to me in the last few months. 

Let's have a momentary break and look at pictures from throughout the year.

Here's a toast to;

Rekindling old friendships,

Maintaining new friendships,

Fulfilling our wanderlusts,

@ Siem Reap, Cambodia

@ Singapore

@ Brighton Beach, Melbourne

@ Kok Lok Si Temple, Penang

@ Foh San Dim Sum, Ipoh

@ Lou Wong Restaurant, Ipoh

 Family traditions,

Birthday celebrations,

Random food outings with my favourite kakis,

& Finally, here's to that special person. 

I know for sure 2015 will bring in more challenges and difficulties but I'm ready mentally and physically to roundhouse kick the bejesus out of these challenges.

Thank you, 2014 for the memories and experiences. I have learned many hard lessons.

It's been a while...

I cannot even begin to describe the constant exhaustion that I have put myself through in the last year.

My 2014 was eventful (what an understatement). I started it in the middle of my culinary year. I had met the most amazing and inspiring people. What did I learn? I learnt that passion isn't something you have, it is something you develop. I learnt that if you are hungry enough you don't have to be intelligent, you just have to be smart to succeed. I learnt my own personal limits. Most importantly I learnt that there is something in the world that can stir the flames in my heart that I have always known was there.

I saw and experienced so much in the kitchens of New York- I have been broken down and humbled to be rebuilt to become the person I am today. Thank you is not enough to express the gratitude and the honor I've felt while shadowing such great people. 

In March, I had to say good bye to the one being who has loved me unconditionally all his life. Someone whose heart I knew I kept breaking over and over again but stayed true to me through thick and thin. We watched each other grow and we were always there for each other. I loved him as much and as deeply as I could love anyone. It is the most devastating thing that has happened to me and I still cannot think of him without tearing up even just a little bit. I found out that he was leaving me while I was at work. I stepped out of the kitchen and bawled my eyes out. I recorded the last thing he would ever hear from me and I hope he heard me say that I love him and I will always love him. 

Graduation came and past and my three month internship went by in a blink of an eye.

Then I made this crazy decision to leave. Why? Many reasons; I was done with New York, I didn't want to apply for a visa in a country and wait for the rejection, I thought that my life would be better in a place I had citizenship in but mainly I just wanted to go home. 

So I packed up, said good bye to the love of my life- kissed him while I whispered, "I will see you soon". I reminisced about the good times I've had in the last 5 years; the people who have walked into my life, touched my heart, broken it and glued it back together. The people who I've laughed with and cried with, who I've loved and will never forget and whose postcards I cannot wait to receive. 

I'm one lucky bitch.

In the middle of the year- I moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It was a whirlwind! Within 7 days of being in the country, I had scheduled 4 interviews and I was offered two jobs. As much as I really needed to take a break- life threw me a golden ticket and I just could not resist. I found this amazing company called Text100. (I hope you notice that the company color is coincidentally the exact shade of my favorite color)

In them I've found a new family- one that picks and prods at me but love me all the same. One that tweets my most embarrassing moments but will feed me teh ping, ice cream and sugar cookies when I'm feeling under the weather. They are the same people who have pointed out my dyslexia (although I never knew I had it) and will hopefully push and support me while I give a go in this career I've stumbled upon. 

I'll be honest, moving here has not been a walk in the park. It has been more like walking on a bed of roses with a million thorns. I moved away from Prabodha Pradhan. The man I've been basically living with for a good year and a half. He has made me a better person by being by my side whenever I need him. He has made me more confident, made my life more stable and just made me happier in general. He helped me believe that there is no one soulmate. He has helped me believe in myself. 

Naturally, it was painful to leave him. It was like I lost a limb. I could not sleep, my mental state was a mess and I just could not see beyond the pain for not having him with me anymore. I've come a long way from there but there are still a lot we have to deal with. This long distance has not been easy although he has done all he knows to do to keep it as manageable as possible. I know I still love him and the most I can do is try and hope for the best :)

So let me end my 2014 with a more positive note. I'm closer to my family and my best friend (who I live with and haven't wanted to kill yet) and I'm with people who love and care about me. I cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for me!

ps. I'm driving a pink car- would have you ever guessed it?

Carey's Community Project

It was all thanks to Carey and the kindness of her heart to create this community project called "Girl's Day Out". Some of the finalists went over to help out with her event and I think it was a big success.

Basically, "Girl's Day Out" is about motivating, encouraging and improving the young girls who were from HOPE worldwide KL, with their self esteems and also, having fun with them.

We were deemed as big sisters for the day and was assigned a group of girls each. Im sure my girls felt the same way as I did in breaking the ice. It's always awkward but we had a fun time chit chatting about their upcoming Form 3 exams and what they wanna do in the future.

We were given a table that was covered with a white sheet and we could scribble/draw/write whatever we wanted on it. Clearly, my girls and I delve right into it. Hehe.

To begin the day, we had Sandra help break the ice with everyone by shouting their names and their ambition. It was quite heart warming to see everyone break out of their shells. Some girls were so timid but eventually, all were chitter chattering away.

Another thing that Sandra did was to involve the girls in a self esteem building activity. She asked them,'What a woman should be' (or somewhere along those lines, it's been a while. Hahah)

One by one, the girls went up to the whiteboard and wrote traits in which they thought that a woman should possess.

Later, we had a break and lunch was served! Okay, not that important. Moving on!

We also had special appearance and encouraging talk from actor/singer Carmen Soo!

She gave everyone a piece of paper and a motivating quote was handwritten on it. She is a really sweet girl who also had her fair share of struggles and she is an inspiring figure for these young girls.

Later, we had Juwita Suwito who serenaded the girls with one of her new songs :)

After Juwita's performance, our very own Miss Universe Malaysia 2013, Carey, performed a contemporary dance. She was breathtaking in her costume. Did you know she was an ex ballerina? :P

In the midst of her performance, she approached the audience and pulled the girls to the front in which she gave every girl there a crown because they are special and queens in their own special way. The Big Sisters (me and the other finalists) helped put their special sashes in which their ambition was written on it. This was truly a touching moment because I'm sure each and every girl felt special and a true queen for the day (and hopefully, for always).

This is me with my awesome little sisters :D

We are all queens. :)

At the end of the event, there was a special treat for everyone. We were all given a red balloon and we had to write down our deepest fears and our dreams. Together, we released those fears into the skies and our dreams floated high and above the skies.

All in all, Carey did a great job. Malaysia is proud to have you to represent our country in the upcoming Miss Universe competition. Thank you, Carey, for having us and for making the girls in HOPE worldwide Malaysia feel special.

*Pictures are all from HOPE Worldwide Malaysia, Kelvin Sing Photography and KS Photography.

Back to blogging

Hello!

I know it has been seriously long since me or Sophia have updated this blog but our lives have been too happening (hahaha, what a lie) to blog! Truth is, we are just a bunch of lazy bums.

Anyway! I'm not even sure who still reads this blog but since I have so much free time on my hands (sort of), I've decided to revive this blog by attempting to write more of my ongoings. I'm more active on Instagram (@elaine137) and also, my facebook page (say whatttt?!).


Yes, I have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/elaineTNMUM14) courtesy of Miss Universe Malaysia Organisation! :)

Oh yeah, for those of you who do not know, I'm one of the top 19 finalists competing for Miss Universe Malaysia 2014! It has been crazy the past few months with all the preparations and now, there are even more events and things coming up for us!

So... yeah. An awkward picture of me during the press conference for the revealing of the finalists for Miss Universe Malaysia 2014 (otherwise known as TNMUM'14).

How is that for capturing the right moment? There was another one captured of me with my mouth doing the same pose. HAHAHAHA Unintentional, I swear.

Yup, I have the most awkward candid pictures ever. Moving onto better looking pictures! Here's a group picture of the 19 finalists.

With Carey Ng, the current reigning queen of Miss Universe Malaysia 2013 who is competing in Moscow, Russia, right now! :D Do vote for her to proceed into the semi finals. You can do it at www.telemundo.com or www.missuniverse.com

Aren't we a great looking bunch? (self praise to the max)

Back to the point of this post, I'll be posting more updates and snippets of my doings and yeah, hopefully, you won't be bored because I do tend to beat around the bush. :P

Catch ya'll soon!